The Aftermath Of Rape: What No one is willing to say
Sex is good, that’s why it was created in the first place. But come to think of it, sex can be traumatizing too when sex is replaced with trauma, fear, agony and immerse nervousness. Then it becomes RAPE.
Yeah, everyone got a story, but with rape victims, every survivor got its own unique demeaning experience. Don’t be surprised if they prefer to keep that part of themselves only to themselves. There have been many misconceptions or should I say assumptions that follow the experience of being raped. It is believed that the victims of this act are broken and cannot be fixed. More so, I have come across a peculiar kind of implicit hypothesis that once a lady has been assaulted, sex is never again a suitable alternative for her. Is that the case?
The simple fact is here: Rape is a form of sex, which is undisputed. True, experiences vary but come to think of it, we have been told a lot of things about sex and rape, Of course, people are happy to give a great deal of advice on what a survivor should do after her rape… visit the clinic for a proper check-up, try not to shower, and oh yes, have you visited the police station to give a statement?
What is it that we aren’t told about sex after you’ve been brutally raped and ravished? What don’t we know? Let’s try and unveil the gift box with 5 key things no one tells us after a rape.
No one reveals to you that you'll feel regretful the first time when you finally like someone. Aren't you expected to abhor men now? That is to say, penises are shrewd and don't forget, one shattered and devastated your life. You shouldn't consider young men. That is the thing that got you stuck in an unfortunate situation. In any case, what’s wrong with you? Your heart doesn’t deserve any man. These are thoughts that keep running through your mind, you’ll feel almost insane, and you wouldn’t want to give your heart a chance to love again. The fact that you were assaulted doesn’t mean you can’t love again. True, you don't "owe" any other person your affection or joy or body. You can be grateful and thankful you survived your emotions at least.
No one reveals to you that rape conversations will be a thing that needs to occur before any romantic relationship. No one tells you that some immature men will go ballistic and refer to your rape as a piece of "emotional baggage”, one they cannot contend with. Coward! But the good news is, of course, no one tells you that there are men who are patient and kind and would hold your hand and sob with you when you let them in. This is just because they can’t believe anyone would be capable of hurting you. They will ask you what you like and what you don't care for, they will be explicit about their concerns and feelings for you, and they will approach you with respect and dignity. A few men will tune in and listen to the pain in heart, support you through it all and try to understand you.
No one reveals to you that the first couple of times you attempt sex again it probably won't go well. You may have a fit of anxiety or a flashback, and you may shout or shake or cry or hurl or the majority of the above mentioned. What they should let you know is that the right partner will stroke your back or make you tea or keep your hair down for you. He'll leave if he's asked to. He will take it easy with and try to understand your fright. He will have a listening ear to comfort you and take you through. Once you feel safe, and you give him that chance, sex will feel empowering, liberating and overwhelming. It doesn’t matter how long it last, but you will enjoy it. It will feel like an enormous triumph over your fears and misconceptions. In short, you will be happy and sexually satisfying.
No one discloses to you that masturbation is a recuperating practice and that acknowledging you're capable of sexual satisfaction after rape is an unfathomable and amazing experience. You keep telling yourself I can’t do this. How would it feel like it? I need some time. Now and again it requires a long time to feel entirely rejoined with your body along these lines, and you're permitted to take all the time you require. However, remember that Sexual exploration is a journey, not a destination. Start small, well, until you find that one who will fix that mindset about sex because sex is definitely enjoyable. You owe yourself that much.
No one reveals to you that you would be laughed at. They have no right to make you feel embarrassed, yet they will. Your limits will be classified "self-assertive" and you will be blamed for "using sex as a weapon" against men. Someone should disclose to you that individuals who state these things are the most exceedingly bad kind of people to be near. If they can possibly get furious about the decisions you make about what you do with your body, they are not worth your time or vitality or thought or love. In any case, no tells you that. So ignore the mockery and take a decision you feel comfortable with. If you think it's not the time to let your body out, be proud about it. Don’t let any negative comment passed by nonsensical people define your boundaries or your lifestyle.
In summary, remember that you will have great days and terrible days. You will have great sex and terrible sex. Be that as it may, you're still alive, and there is definitely hope and love will come knocking on your doorstep. Allow yourself that freedom.
Image source: liveuttarpradesh.com
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